Monthly Archives: August 2012

My Commitment

So Ive signed up for the 12WBT with Michelle Bridges. After seeing a few people I know transform into athletes, I had to know what was going on. So I do what I do best and decided after seeing a link to just sign up there and then. I immeadiately jumped on the forums.

A place in the past that has felt like home for me while trying to lose weight in the past. I love the community, the support, the friends you make. Its the best place for me to just simply be myself.

So we are up to the fourth pre-seasont ask. Say it out loud. Michelle asks us to commit. Not just to her, but to ourselves, our friends and loved ones. I thought you beaut. Id told my two best friends and my mum, a work friend and a few others. Id even put it up on facebook. I was already half way there. The next part was actually to compose a commitment. So here I am. Putting my fingers to keyboard to commit to myself and to Mish.

Ive thought a little bit over the last two days since the task was put out, about what it is I want to commit to. What do I want to achieve in Round 3. The biggest thing I want to commit to is to stop hiding behind my excuses. They are what brings me down. My continual hiding behind them has held me back for so many years. I remember buying my skates about two years ago. All shiny, new and beautiful. It was until Jan-Feb this year that I actually put them on and learnt to skate. Why? Because I used to say to myself, I dont know how to skate, how am I going to do this? I dont have it in me, Im too big, I wont be good enough. Well you know what? I proved all of them wrong. So this year has been a slow, but continual battle against myself, and Im winning!

So what figures am I going to commit myself too? Ive become a realist. Having worked in the past as a weight loss counsellor, Im very realistic about the goals I want to set myself. I know the tips, tricks and have the knowledge to do this successfully. I know in 12weeks a realistic goal for me will be 10kgs. I know, however, that if I dont reach this, its not the end of the world, and certainly not the end of my journey. I will give my best to try and reach this, and instead of punishing myself and giving into guilt and shame, I will congratulate myself for what I will have achieved, whether Ive reached my goal or not.

My biggest hurdle is organisation. In the last year Ive felt my health take a horrible turn. I cant walk for 5 minutes to the bus stop without having the most horrendous pain in my calves. My memory seems to be taking a turn for the worst, my energy levels were at an all time low, and depression and anxiety took a steel grip on my insides and tried to push me down. I felt everything crumble around me. I couldnt get a firm grasp on anything, it seemed to just slip from my grip. It was horrible. But Id had enough. I sought help, and am now seeing more specialists than you can poke a stick at. I refuse to be slave to this way of life anymore. I want control of my own day. So I’ve begun to fight my poor memory by rebuilding a routine. Making sure I do the same basic things every day. Brushing my teeth, having a shower, eating breakfast, doing my stretches, going to the gym. It will all become second nature.

One thing Ive always said im not, is a runner. I now hold this to be untrue. I WILL be a runner. Just as I used to think I wouldnt be a skater, I AM NOW a skater. I would love to try and run for at least 1km without stopping. This may seem a small target, but for me the distance is staggering. Ive always wanted to know what running without dieing feels like. Its my time to work towards that.

So, I think in summary Im ready to make my commitment.

My commitment to Michelle and myself is:

To not hide behind my excuses. To push through them and find my true strength.

To lose 10kgs in the 12 weeks, and give everything my best and more to the overcoming the challenges.

To build my routine so I can function better at every day life.

To run for at least 1km without stopping, and skate for at least 5 minutes without stopping.

This is my commitment. This is what I want, and I will get it.

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