#D30 Challenge 101 Reasons Why I’m Changing My Lifestyle

As per Emma Oliver’s instructions, I decided I needed to take part in this small, but challenging challenge. I need a good reminder as to why I want to do this and 101 reminders was a good place to start. So I sat down last night and this morning and wrote my list. I saw a consistent theme. Health, welbeing, fitness. These are core goals that I want to achieve. So I branched out and explained in detail what I wanted. I was SPECIFIC!

1.I want to be, and feel, healthy.

2. I want to take control of my life.

3. I want to be happier.

4.I want to be fitter.

5. I want to have a full life and not be held back by my size and weight.

6. I want to run. I want to know what it feels like to run and not feel like I’m dieing.

7. To skate for 25 laps in 5 minutes.

8. To pass freshmeat and start my derby career!

9. To stop my Mum from worrying. She shouldn’t have to worry about me so much. Its not good for her.

10. Avoid health problems that go with being morbidly obese. My current BMI is 49.8. I want to avoid Diabetes, heart problems, infertility etc.

11. I want to be able to wear the shameful horde of clothes that I’ve been collecting that are sizes 14-16. I buy them all the time and its awful that they are just in vacuum sealed bags.

12. Buy any clothes that I want.

13. Feel attractive.

14. Be as healthy as I can be in preparation for motherhood/pregnancy.

15. Set a healthy example for my future offspring.

16. Walk without effort and be able to move freely and gracefully.

17. Not be burdened by excess weight and the health problems that come with it during my first pregnancy.

18. Have the “dream” wedding someday.

19. Sleep better.

20. My skin will be healthier and clearer.

21. Not be judged by my appearance.

22. Wear high heels for longer. I love shoes. ^_^

23. Have less pain in my life. Both physical and mental.

24. Look forward to social events.

25. Buy clothes online!

26. Look forward to shopping.

27. Being able to wear cool derby outfits!

28. Regain my confidence.

29. Discover my new identity. As a person who enjoys life, being fit and healthy.

30. Find my strength.

31. Less effort to do everyday things, like cleaning, hanging the washing, and vacuuming.

32. Enjoy nature and the outdoors.

33. Look forward to outdoor activities. I love things like laser tag but to afraid to go.

34. Improve my chances of achieving all that I want in life.

35. Breathe easier.

36. Move easier.

37. Ride a bike with ease.

38. Enjoy summer.

39. Not have a worry when travelling.

40. Start travelling!

41. Buy cheeky underwear!

42. Feel comfortable in a bra again!

43. Buy more corsets =D

44. Wear nice swimmers.

45. Be able to wear my hair down and not be to hot and flushed.

46. Walk real distances without pain, not just to the bus stop.

47. Not take up two seats on the bus.

48. Not be afraid of scales.

49. To not be scared.

50. To not feel so much anxiety.

51. To not hate photos of me.

52. Sit comfortably in any chair.

53. Play a game of tennis.

54. Partake in fun runs.

55. Actually want to be active, and miss it when I don’t.

56. Feel pride in myself.

57. Set up life long habits.

58. Encourage and support my partner to the same.

59. Feel confident in being naked!

60. Exert control over food.

61.Be happy in my choices.

62. Have my mother be proud of me.

63. Go hiking and bushwalking.

64. Take up swimming again.

65. Enjoy my youth while I still have it.

66. Use natural highs to beat depression.

67. Live as a functioning adult.

68. Become a master organizer.

69. Prove to myself how capable I am.

70. Prove to everyone else how capable I am.

71. Take up the cello.

72. Pay reasonable prices for clothes.

73. Feel strong.

74. Want to return to uni. Not be too scared to go to uni.

75. Regain self-worth.

76. Respect myself.

77. Show others that I respect myself.

78. Regain self-discipline.

79. Apply for the army and pass the fitness test.

80. Rejoin the volunteer fire service.

81. Apply for NSW Fire and Rescue and pass the fitness test.

82. Finish my Duke of Edinborough Award.

83. Run a beep test.

84. Do a mud run or tough mudder.

85. Carry a pack with all the weight I’ve lost.

86. Walk around New Zealand.

87. Do the Great North Walk.

88. Be able to wear rings, bracelets and watches.

89. Feel comfortable dancing.

90. To wear makeup and not feel fake.

91. To be able to wear beautiful dresses and short skirts!

92. To see my collarbones again.

93. To get a tattoo on my arm and now worry about weight stretching or ruining it.

94. To have a cute butt again!

95. Have boobs that are proportionate to my body shape!

96. To loose my mega chins!

97. Loose my tummy tyre!

98. Actually look pregnant when the time comes.

99. Reach my toes!

100. Not have my knee pads cut into me when I skate.

101. Look at this list in a year or two and tick of each and every one of these Reasons!

My Commitment

So Ive signed up for the 12WBT with Michelle Bridges. After seeing a few people I know transform into athletes, I had to know what was going on. So I do what I do best and decided after seeing a link to just sign up there and then. I immeadiately jumped on the forums.

A place in the past that has felt like home for me while trying to lose weight in the past. I love the community, the support, the friends you make. Its the best place for me to just simply be myself.

So we are up to the fourth pre-seasont ask. Say it out loud. Michelle asks us to commit. Not just to her, but to ourselves, our friends and loved ones. I thought you beaut. Id told my two best friends and my mum, a work friend and a few others. Id even put it up on facebook. I was already half way there. The next part was actually to compose a commitment. So here I am. Putting my fingers to keyboard to commit to myself and to Mish.

Ive thought a little bit over the last two days since the task was put out, about what it is I want to commit to. What do I want to achieve in Round 3. The biggest thing I want to commit to is to stop hiding behind my excuses. They are what brings me down. My continual hiding behind them has held me back for so many years. I remember buying my skates about two years ago. All shiny, new and beautiful. It was until Jan-Feb this year that I actually put them on and learnt to skate. Why? Because I used to say to myself, I dont know how to skate, how am I going to do this? I dont have it in me, Im too big, I wont be good enough. Well you know what? I proved all of them wrong. So this year has been a slow, but continual battle against myself, and Im winning!

So what figures am I going to commit myself too? Ive become a realist. Having worked in the past as a weight loss counsellor, Im very realistic about the goals I want to set myself. I know the tips, tricks and have the knowledge to do this successfully. I know in 12weeks a realistic goal for me will be 10kgs. I know, however, that if I dont reach this, its not the end of the world, and certainly not the end of my journey. I will give my best to try and reach this, and instead of punishing myself and giving into guilt and shame, I will congratulate myself for what I will have achieved, whether Ive reached my goal or not.

My biggest hurdle is organisation. In the last year Ive felt my health take a horrible turn. I cant walk for 5 minutes to the bus stop without having the most horrendous pain in my calves. My memory seems to be taking a turn for the worst, my energy levels were at an all time low, and depression and anxiety took a steel grip on my insides and tried to push me down. I felt everything crumble around me. I couldnt get a firm grasp on anything, it seemed to just slip from my grip. It was horrible. But Id had enough. I sought help, and am now seeing more specialists than you can poke a stick at. I refuse to be slave to this way of life anymore. I want control of my own day. So I’ve begun to fight my poor memory by rebuilding a routine. Making sure I do the same basic things every day. Brushing my teeth, having a shower, eating breakfast, doing my stretches, going to the gym. It will all become second nature.

One thing Ive always said im not, is a runner. I now hold this to be untrue. I WILL be a runner. Just as I used to think I wouldnt be a skater, I AM NOW a skater. I would love to try and run for at least 1km without stopping. This may seem a small target, but for me the distance is staggering. Ive always wanted to know what running without dieing feels like. Its my time to work towards that.

So, I think in summary Im ready to make my commitment.

My commitment to Michelle and myself is:

To not hide behind my excuses. To push through them and find my true strength.

To lose 10kgs in the 12 weeks, and give everything my best and more to the overcoming the challenges.

To build my routine so I can function better at every day life.

To run for at least 1km without stopping, and skate for at least 5 minutes without stopping.

This is my commitment. This is what I want, and I will get it.

Hello world!

Welcome to my blog. Stay tuned!